All About Parrots

I sense a disturbance in the ether. In Argentina, police spent five days interrogating a parrot before it finally cracked and spilled the goods. Closer to home, a coke addicted polly got caught up in some nefarious underworld dealings. Meanwhile in Australia, weak-minded orange-bellied wild parrots have been manipulating the legal system for personal gain. Appalling.

Some believe that sophisticated language use proves that parrots have advanced cognitive abilities. I'm not so sure. I think a lot of parrot speech can be explained by fortuitous vocal capabilities and simple operant conditioning.

Superiority by Silence

Hirsi Ali has a new book out. Regarding the Dutch security services failure to protect her:

'There is ethnic profiling. But unlike in the United States, we don't even debate it. That's bad,' she says. 'In the Netherlands and in the rest of Europe we pretend that we are morally superior to the United States, that we are not doing any form of ethnic profiling. But we are.'

The same might be said for wiretaps. In fact according to this report, on most metrics, EU communications privacy policies offer less protection to citizens. Eventually the only way Europeans will be able to guard their privacy will be to truely remain silent.

Oriental Kiddush Fountains

At what point did the jewish people decide that simple kiddush cups were no longer adequate and that it was time to adopt a more hi-tech arrangement like the: Oriental Kiddush Fountain Pour 8 servings at once!

Dining for Darfur?

This sort of thing annoys the hell out of me. "Dining for darfur"? Yes, in response to the mass genocide and starvation in Sudan, lets all go and enjoy a fine meal with 5% of the proceeds being donated to the Red Cross. How about "Eating Carrots at Home One Evening and Donating the Entire Amount of the Meal to Darfur" Day? Is it really necessary for everything to be made into a game? Must restaurants exploit the suffering in Darfur to attract customers? It's really pathetic.

Trung Nguyen

A few month's ago, a grateful client of my wifeling gave her a packet of "Trung Nguyen" vietnamese coffee. After running out of my standard fair-trade shade-grown certified-organic cooperatively-grown save-the-gorilla grind, I finally got around to brewing up the vietnamese packet.

Astonishing - some of the best coffee I've ever had. Sweet chocolately overtones and very fragrant. Yet its not flavoured coffee, its just a magical mix of four coffee beans! I took to mixing it with a more standard blend to give it some kick and also to prolong the life span of that packet.

It was a sad day when I finally ran out and I started scouring asian groceries for a replacement. I must have visited a dozen decent sized chinese markets with no success. Finally, last night I headed to a specifically vietnamese supermarket and was ecstatic to find an almost infinite supply of Trung Nguyen coffee right beside the entrance.

Many happy mornings in store for me!

I just finished E. L. Doctorow's book City of God, after it was strongly recommended by another member of my bookclub. Doctorow uses a collage of narratives and a threadbare plot to beautifully describe the religious sensibility of Reform Jews.

This is never explicit, in fact Doctorow tries to distinguish the 'Evolutionary Judaism' community at the center of his novel from neighbouring Reform congregations. But this is a mere finesse - the various metaphysical disquisitions that form the heart of the book are of precisely the sort that arise in every Reform community: the cosmological implications of twentieth century physics and philosophy, the skeptical engagement with traditional sources, the centrality of the holocaust in shaping Jewish affiliation and the uneasy self-awareness that comes with breaking with tradition.

I think my friend likely appreciated the book because to him, a nominally Christian secular cosmopolitan, the ideas are novel and the Reform approach is appealing. To secular liberal humanists, Reform Judaism provides just enough numinousness, without requiring rationality to be burned on the sacrificial altar. Moreover it forms a broad point of contact with a rich literature and tradition, yet carefully avoids encroaching on personal freedom.

But as someone raised in a Reform congregation, I found the book deeply unsatisfying precisely because it fails to deal with the flipside of Reform - its failure to nourish successive generations of committed and knowledgeable jews.

Life on Earth flourishes in the great radiance provided by the Sun. In a similar way, Reform communities thrive because they feed off a rich jewish history and tradition. The founders of the Reform movement were steeped in Jewish learning. But in every generation, the proportion of members in Reform communities with deep jewish roots diminishes. Children from Reform congregations assimilate more rapidly than from any other branch of Judaism. Indeed, in Doctorow's super-intelligent and spiritual congregation there are no children. 'Evolutionary Judaism' is a singularly inappropriate moniker for a Reform congregation - the greatest danger Reform faces is that Jewish history will come to see it as an evolutionary dead end.

Any writer can describe scenes and transmit facts. But to successfully communicate a sensibility requires enormous skill. I doubt that Doctorow's intention was to illuminate the nature of Reform Judaism ; nevertheless, he does so astonishingly well. I'm going to pick up his book about the Rosenberg trial, "The Book of Daniel".

Keeping a Nice Slim Equator

A new study from U Chicago confirms that vegetarian diets impose less of a burden on the planet:

Eshel and Martin compared the energy consumption and greenhouse-gas emissions that underlie five diets: average American, red meat, fish, poultry and vegetarian (including eggs and dairy), all equaling 3,774 calories per day.

The vegetarian diet turned out to be the most energy-efficient, followed by poultry and the average American diet. Fish and red meat virtually tied as the least efficient.

The impact of producing fish came as the study’s biggest surprise to Martin, an Assistant Professor in Geophysical Sciences. “Fish can be from one extreme to the other,” Martin said. Sardines and anchovies flourish near coastal areas and can be harvested with minimal energy expenditure. But swordfish and other large predatory species required energy-intensive long-distance voyages.

It's peculiar that the press release talks about the advantages of a vegan diet, but the study itself appears to have used a vegetarian diet as its comparison group. Also, I don't seem to have access to the original paper here. Anybody want to send it to me?

It will be interesting to see the results of their next study - a look at the efficiency of organic farms. I'd imagine that for all its evils, large-scale farming run by accountants might have so many economies of scale that its actually lower impact.

Greenpeace Goes Nuclear

Patrick Moore, former director of Greenpeace, argues in the Washington Post that the green movement needs to embrace nuclear power to avoid environmental catastrophy. To my mind, the main counter-argument is that whatever technology the US embraces, is going to be the same solution adopted globally. Proliferation of nuclear power plants might save us from global warming, but will make it impossible to prevent waste products from falling into the wrong hands.

The wikipedia article on Patrick Moore is interesting. He says that he left Greenpeace when it "became more concerned with anti-capitalism and anti-globalisation rather than environmental issues."

This is precisely why I no longer support Greenpeace. When approached by well-meaning Greenpeace hucksters on the street, I explain that I don't trust the organization to use my money responsibly. Occasionally they might have a specific campaign worthy of financial support, but I refuse to contribute to their general operating expenses.

A Crime Against Sport Facilities

After a Kassam injured Israeli kids on a soccer field near Ashkelon, Israel bombed an empty soccer field. The result:

AFC President Muhammad Bin Hammam condemned the Israeli strike as 'a crime against Palestine sports facilities'

But that's not the funniest part! International Soccer Magnates are furious about the damage to the grass and considering what action to take against Israel. Apparently this is quite consistent with FIFAs long history of cuddling up to mass murderers.

Europeans Still Out of Bed with Hamas

So far so good:

The European Commission said on Friday it had halted aid payments to the Hamas-led Palestinian government because the new cabinet had not recognized Israel's right to exist or renounced violence.

Apparently they are delivering still delivering direct aid and paying Israeli utility companies on the Palestinians behalf. Still, Hamas will find it hard to govern if it can't pay public salaries.

Foer Redemption?

Apparently, Jonathan Safran Foer, best known for writing exploitative novels about tragic events, is now turning his attention to the scandals at US kosher slaughterhouses. Normally, I'd applaud anyone involved in trying to end these despicable practices. In his case I can't do so wholeheartedly. Having written at least one book that uses unimaginable pain as the backdrop for a fatuous and shallow engagement with personal identity (and possibly two books, I couldn't stomach the idea of reading 'Incredibly Close...'), he might well end up trivializing rather than exposing the suffering of the animals involved.

Darfur - A Jewish Issue?

Black Americans quiet on Darfur crisis - apparently in part because its perceived as a 'jewish issue'.

Vegetarian Wedding Attire

Planning a non-crunchy vegetarian wedding is very challenging. If it was to be a patchouli pot-luck affair held in a verdant forest - no problem. But a vegan wedding, held with all the socially approved accoutrements is probably impossible. If anyone ends up here randomly in the hope of finding footsteps to travel in - forget it.

Its proving extremely difficult finding a formal black suit to get married in. I'm trying to find one that does not contain wool as there is too much ovine misery involved. At the same time I am under strict instructions that it be a 'normal' cut, plain black and not strangely shiney like polyester. Linen is out as its beautiful drape becomes a crumpled mess at the first hint of movement.

You'd think that finding a cotton/polyester blend wouldn't be too hard. Or perhaps an innovative mix of synthetics which didn't reflect light like a disco ball. My ideal would be tencel. Ahh... a tencel suit... the holy grail of vegan suit shopping.

Now you'd think that PETA, in the throes of a campaign against Australian wool, would have sympathetic words and suggestions - if not links! - to retailers stocking vegetarian wedding ware. Nope. In fact when I wrote to ask for suggestions, I was gently told that sometimes its necessary to compromise.

Compromise! I'm not throwing in the gauntlet yet. So in the coming days, mixed in with the insightful comments about Israeli politics and international affairs, I intend to relate the heartbreaking saga of my quest to get married in a really sharp looking, 100% vegetarian, formal black suit.

Jerusalem Post Christian Edition

April Fools Day is over, but the joke might just become unstoppable

Shame.

When 'kosher' slaughter is not Jewish

The title of the article says it all. It is a blot on the Jewish people that the Chief Rabbi of Israel believes that so repulsive and cruel a practice does not constitute a halachic problem. This reflects poorly on us, him and the body of law that permits him to take a stance contrary to simple morality. If the Orthodox community has any self-respect it will demand a repudiation of his views and his immediate dismissal.

While I'm at it I don't think much of this:

It is important to note that the ideal kosher cut would sever the trachea, esophagus and carotid artery, thus immediately eliminating blood flow to the brain and rendering an animal unconscious in as quickly as 10 seconds. Contrary to widespread perceptions, however, a valid kosher slaughter requires only the cut of the trachea and esophagus. The post-cut scenes on the videos of staggering, mutilated animals seem to be cases in which the carotid arteries were not severed, thus leaving the animal conscious and able to suffer pain.

Frankly I'm not even convinced that the 'ideal cut' which severs blood flow to the brain really does quickly eliminate perception of pain.

Jews and Werewolves

Jeremy Wexler discusses the werewolf as a metaphor for the experience of Jewish immigrants in the Forward.

The decline of the modern-day werewolf should be of concern, since it is largely a metaphor for being Jewish in the 20th century. Consider the modern werewolf narrative: A hairy young outsider becomes saddled with an identity he doesn't want or particularly like, the meaning of which is told to him by an old European lady speaking a lot of mumbo jumbo.

You could also say that the decline of the metaphor is of some concern because its signifies the loss of 'outsider' status among American jews. History argues that Jewish 'Golden Ages' are hardly unusual and are invariably terminated by savage attacks from thoroughly non-fictional beasts.