Persian Dispersion

New high resolution images from the Japanese K12BLiP satellite demonstrate conclusively that Iran does not exist. Rather, the Persian Gulf stretches from Iraq to Afghanistan, contiguous with the Caspian Sea above and the Gulf of Oman below.

President Ahmadinejad, currently chairing a session of the United Nations Forum on Human Rights in Geneva, was defiant when asked about the allegations.

"Allah be praised, the Western infidel cartographers must face extreme consequences for wiping Iran off the map."

Secretary General of the European Union, Javier Solana, was unphased by the threats, saying that anybody nevertheless claiming Iranian citizenship was very welcome to settle in Europe, perhaps "in Germany, Austria or other countries".